Winter blue
Thursday, January 7, 2010 at 8:24AM Balls. Ha, I kill me.
But seriously, Winter... Fuck you.
Suck it bitch
Gawd damn is it cold outside.
I walked outside and my balls climbed so far back up into my body I can hear them shivering in my chest.
It feels a little bit painful. I time how long it takes my balls to retract. That is how I judge the cold.
This morning it was .2 nanoseconds. Congratulations, it's a girl.
For all you non nerds out there, that is really fast.
People, I was in Maui for two weeks. That means I am not used to this cold shit yet. Plus it almost never gets that cold here.
I have looked at the weather map, and there are a lot of you out there suffering through this shit with me. I am pretty sure Canada just took a major number two on the US of A. This is somehow their fault I just know it.
Blame Canada.
Sorry Sarah and other Canadians that I know. But seriously, where did all this cold shit come from. Take it back you bitches. I want to visit Canada one day, can't this shit wait till then.
I know it is not really that cold here and that other places have it worse. Hell, we haven't even gotten snow today. It is sleeting, which is a beast on its own but right now it is really just fucking cold.
My friend Ally at Hyperbole and a half (sorry no link, my computer is broken) has to deal with snow all the time in Montana. I would fucking die. Seriously, cold is my kryptonite. I am sure I mentioned this.
I can play in the cold, but if I had to live with that shit I would fucking die.
Unfortunately, my gf likes seasons and wants snow.
Fuck, I love seasons too. Seasons 1-5 of MacGuyver for instance.
But Winter is whore bitch and I don't consider something that kills everything it touches a season. I consider that a fucking plague.
Alas, I like to travel and must admit I will eventually encounter winter again. I will be more prepared and look like Ralphie from the Christmas story but I will still bitch.
Also, on a side note, my computer at home is still broken. And... now my computer at work is broken. That means, I really don't have great internet access and will lose all my bookmarks. That is the reason I haven't been making my rounds on the blogs. Unfortunately, I do not have all your sites memorized. What the fuck do you expect out of me. Assholes.
So, if I haven't been visiting drop me a link to help me out. And trust me, you know when I visit. Profanity laced comments ensue.
Reader Comments (12)
I fucking HATE winter, snow, and all of the other stuff involved with winter. I am going to drag Mike with me to Florida when I have enough money saved up for a house. No more of this CT winter bullshit!
ummm, I'm in Fort Liquordale and it was 34 fucking degrees this morning. There's a rumour about snow flurries here saturday. And when your bawls climb up deep inside you've got ovaries. Just be glad they dont bleed.
And now you've got an excuse for you gf....shrinkage. =)
Later DickyOvarieBoy.
fucking computers. Mine at home has been broken and work has been so busy that I've actually had to WORK (what the hell?) So I haven't been making the rounds on blogs or been able to blog in quite a while. IT SUCKS.
I'm so over winter too, blech!
Shut your face. it's in the 20's here in Detroit and snowing as though Canada is shaking off its dandruf on us. Expecting half a foot tonight. Try waking up and going to work in that. My balls have packed up and left for the south!
Winter sucks donkey dicks for quarters. I hate this cold shit, and when my daughter graduates from high school, my ass is driving south every winter and staying there til Ohio thaws the fuck out.
Eithion, you chose that shit.
i awarded you ;)
it seems you were quite pleased by yesterday's honorable mention
you ungrateful motherfucker
Some how I got married built a house and settled down in what feels like the north pole with a man who despises the cold and snow as much as I do. What the fuck were we thinking!
How come I'm just now finding your site?
WTF!
I know you've been to my place before!
OMG, I'm such a loser!
Well first of all, this post makes me just want to say FUCK a lot. Like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck. You have that effect on people. Second of all, yeah. Fuck winter. Even in Texas.
Less of a decission and more of a no-one-else-wanted-me type thing.....except for some fuckers in Dallas who wanted me to be their bitch at crappy pay.
LOVE the first picture. Exactly how I feel. After shoveling 10 inches of snow yesterday and this morning. My husband refused to buy a snow blower, said it builds character (of our two boys). FUCK that. He travels all the time so it is easy for him to say. I was the one that did all the shoveling. I am so pissed off right now. I love the Canadians. But after seeing your map?... Hmmm. I am not so sure any more. I am going to blame the root cause of it all: Sarah Palin.