Shit said at work... part 1

Ok, so until I find a place in my blog to put this.  I give you the running commentary of shit said at work.

Me:  (to guy who stole my name) I will rape your soul...

Many minutes later in a seperate conversation. 

Me: Yeah, I am much better now.  I have social skills. 

Guy: Yeah, I am not so sure about that.  You told me a little while back that you were going to rape my sould.  How about you rape the space between my toes.  Can't you start smaller?

So, I think about it.  A little later:

Me:  Do you think you need KY to rape a soul?

Is something wrong with me?

Awesome Sauce

Holy hell batmanOk folks.  My first ever poll. 

Is this bed "Awesome sauce" as my girlfriend puts it?

Or, a long horrifying road to a psychiatrists office?

You can find the original here.

The fuck.

What the fuck does congress need to worry about football for.  Also, what does football have to do with energy.

What the stupid

Ok, so I haven't done this.  But I almost did. 

I heard the song Roxanne on the radio.  For all your youngsters out there it is a song about a hooker. 

It rocks. 

When I heard it I thought of my girlfriend. 

OMGWTFBBQ!!!!

It is not as bad as it sounds.  But I imagined the conversation I would have with my girlfriend if I hadn't thought of the repurcussions first.  This could have been epic.  But alas I caught myself.  I will still tell her.  I like hot topics.  Not the store.  That place is the devil's vagina.  I am pretty sure they should give out receipts with razor blades. 

Anyway, to explain, my girlfriend's neighbor has a red light on his porch.  I am pretty sure he is not a hooker though.  He would be the first male jewish hooker I ever knew. And if you don't get the reference to the red light.  Fucking google it yo. 

Update on Wednesday, December 9, 2009 at 8:27AM by Mepsipax

So I told my girlfriend.  Her response.

I get greeted by an old friend with "goodmorning beautiful" and by my boyfriend with "hey, I thought of you when the hooker song came on this morning!" ;)

Promises

I am posting this here because not that many people stop by this section of my blog.  If I get 50 followers, I will do whatever the 50th follower asks.  Within reason.  I am not going to jail for your bitch asses. 

So, follow me and post a comment when you do. 

I will announce a winner.  However long it takes. 

Be a part of history.